


Butterfly Smiles

by ladylangst



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Gen, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, centered around a scene from the first Thor movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 01:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19263277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladylangst/pseuds/ladylangst
Summary: After a few more seconds of rushed searching he finds the sheet with the spell he wants to demonstrate for father. It’s a complicated spell that he hasn’t been allowed to practice yet, but if he manages to impress everyone, he should be exempt from scolding. Hopefully.(Basically this goes through different parts of Loki’s life with angst and some brotherly bonding moments)





	Butterfly Smiles

Thor slams the butt of his sword into his opponent's face, knocking the larger man in the dirt. The rest of the soldiers watching the match cheer loudly. They offer handshakes and tight hugs of congratulations with exuberance. Loki watches all of it with extreme curiosity. He glances over at his father, who hasn't taken his eyes off of Thor since the tournament started and grows even more intrigued at the look on his normally stoic face.

Odin is practically glowing with happiness. His face is crinkled with a broad smile and lightened with sparkling eyes. Loki finds he quite likes it. His father isn’t one for showing such open emotion, especially in public. It’s a shame Thor has been the only one to achieve such a reaction. Maybe he himself could do so as well? It couldn’t possibly be that hard.

Loki lets a small smile slip across his face. This shall be quite fun. Mother has been teaching him all sorts of wonderful tricks to make up for his lack of talent with weapons. If Father is so happy to see what Thor has been doing, he’ll surely be just a happy about Loki’s work. It might not be quite as manly, but just as well.

He watches with anticipation as Thor comes back towards the sidelines to rejoin them. As his brother passes by him Loki offers a teasing grin. “Well done brother, it seems that you truly are the best warrior. You shall have to regale me of your training efforts later on.”

Thor chuckles and pats his head, mussing his hair slightly. “Thank you Loki, I shall tell you all about it later tonight. I have to speak with Mother and Father first.” He says.

Loki sticks out his tongue and makes a show of straightening out his hair, but ultimately lets Thor leave with ease. He did just have a long tournament. Loki can tease and trick him all he wants later on. It’s only fair.

As Thor goes to receive his praise, Loki slips away to run back to the palace. He smiles at those he passes, but doesn’t slow his pace until his feet are slapping at the stone floors of his home. His footsteps echo throughout the brightly lit corridors, matching pace with his excited heartbeat. This will be such fun.

He finally makes it to his chambers, and immediately begins rummaging around his cluttered desk. His studies are all strewn about, but Loki knows relatively where everything is. It’s quite a process, studying magic, that is. Mother always goes on about the complexity of the art in her lessons. He doesn’t mind.

After a few more seconds of rushed searching he finds the sheet with the spell he wants to demonstrate for father. It’s a complicated spell that he hasn’t been allowed to practice yet, but if he manages to impress everyone, he should be exempt from scolding. Hopefully. Mother can be very insistent about keeping safe whilst practicing.

It is nothing of consequence though; Loki knows he can do this. It is but a simple illusion after all. Well, not simple, per say, just nothing of great magnitude. It’s a bit of a trick, and he has always been good at those. Mother says he’s clever. Loki smiles giddily and thinks of how impressed his father will be at his cleverness. The anticipation is practically bubbling up within him.

He spends the next several minutes reading the spell intently. The basic concept is not unfamiliar. It is much like learning to write. Loki has already learned the roots, he just has to learn the rest of the word to individualize it and give it meaning. The spell is an illusion, so now he must add on the details to make it do as he pleases.

After a half hour more of reading and practicing, Loki feels confident in his ability to perform the spell adequately. He sets his notes gently atop his desk, and straightens out his appearance, before rushing out to find his father.

It does not take long. Odin, as usual, is seated in the throne room with Frigga. Loki pauses outside of the door before cautiously entering. His mother is speaking enthusiastically to his father about Thor’s phenomenal progress. Odin is listening to her respectfully, nodding at times and making noises of agreement at others. Loki internally laughs at him. His mother loves to chat. But in a regal, queenly way. At least that’s what Loki thinks.

He pads quietly across the room before stopping in front of them, coughing quietly to catch their attention. His mother stops talking immediately and turns to smile at him. “Hello Loki, what is it you need? I hope you haven’t “accidentally turned your brother green again…” she teases.

Loki smiles innocently and shakes his head. “Of course not mother, I have no idea where you got that idea. I merely wished to demonstrate my studies, as Thor did earlier. I thought Father might like to see as well, since he does not often attend my lessons.” He says, glancing over at his father to find him watching Loki with a strange look on his face.

Frigga grins even wider and turns to face him fully. “What a wonderful idea Loki. I would love to see a demonstration. I’m sure your father would too. Please, begin when you are ready.”

Loki smiles in relief at her quick acceptance of his proposal and ignores the fact that his father had not said anything yet. He just doesn’t know much about magic. He’ll surely be impressed after Loki completes the spell.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Loki concentrates on manipulating the magic within himself and coaxing it to do as he wishes. When he opens his eyes, he’s no longer a prince; he’s a forest nymph with a flowing gown of leaves and flowers.

He lifts his hand as if reaching out for the sky, and instead a delicate green butterfly materializes to land gently upon his open palm.

He looks away from his illusion to gauge his parent’s reactions, but it is not what he expected at all. His mother looks pale and frightened, far from her usual pride when he completes such feats. While Odin, father, looks absolutely furious. His face is marred with a vicious scowl.

“NO LOKI!” He shouts down at him, various shades of red in his anger.

Loki staggers back a bit in shock, not noticing as his masterpiece melts away into the floor. “What is it fathe-“ he starts, but his father cuts him off.

“What were you thinking?! This is abhorrent! I cannot believe you would degrade yourself like this! It is shameful to walk around pretending yourself to be a woman. You are already mocked for your lack of combat skills, now you wish to add to your scorn? What son have I raised…” His father trails off slowly, voice full of disappointment.

Loki doesn’t know what to do, why isn’t father proud of him? That was a large accomplishment he just pulled off. Just as good as Thor’s victory earlier today, or at least comparable. Why is father so angry? He feels hot tears pooling at the corners of his eyes and looks to the ground to avoid adding to his shame.

He doesn’t speak a word when his mother gently grabs his hand to lead him out of the room. It would not do any good now. Not when his thoughts are drifting morbidly between how his father’s face looked earlier, and how it looked just moments ago.

His heart twists painfully in his chest. It’s fine. Really. He’ll just do better next time.

* * *

 

His opponent smirks at him from across the arena, and Loki schools his expression into one of meekness and submission. The brutish man buys into it, flashing his swords in a show of arrogance. The crowd hollers in anticipation for the beating to come, and Loki smiles inwardly. What fools.

The air is cool and crisp, it sharpens his focus and allows his magic to flow freely through his veins. Mother always did say having a clear head could do wonders for your spell casting. 

Loki breathes deeply and erects an illusion around himself. Nothing too complex, It looks exactly like him, frightened and pathetic. It’s perfect. He then lays on another spell, and steps away from his first illusion. No one notices a thing though, most likely because he’s invisible.

He stands slightly behind his other self, and waits patiently for the match to begin. Soon, the gong has sounded, and his opponent is rushing the illusion head on. Loki raises his hand to lazily direct his puppet, making it freeze in terror before just avoiding the attack.

The brute laughs confidently and chases after “Loki” with his bloodlust scrawled blatantly across his face. How the fool made it this long without being murdered Loki will never understand. He plays with the man for several more minutes. He allows the crowd their fun. They get to laugh at a cowering, sniveling prince, it certainly entertains them. For awhile anyways, then he strikes.

As the boor goes in for his final blow, Loki strolls up behind him. He raises the hilt of his sword and swings downwards. His illusions melt away just before he knocks the man out, giving him a gloriously dramatic moment. It’s quite impressive how many gasps he hears. No one suspected a thing!

The man crumples to the ground, not terribly injured, but defeated still. Loki smiles triumphantly and ignores the shouts of the crowd to look at his father. He wants to see his expression. He wants to know how his father feels now that he has won. He wants to see the pride in his eyes, just once.

And yet, it seems Loki still isn’t skilled enough to predict Odin’s reactions.

His father is seething in his seat, practically steaming. His face is again a mixture of reds, now with various shades of purple. How lovely, Loki thinks distantly, an artist could make a masterpiece with the range of colors Odin tends to display.

Loki sighs and turns to the crowd, hoping to find their reaction to be better, but it’s no use. They aren’t cheering for his victory; they’re jeering at him and shouting in outrage. How dare he use such trickery! What vile cheating! How dare he escape the fight. Where is his sense of honor? Ha. Loki scoffs at them and turns to return to his place in the stands. He leaves his “opponent” behind him on the ground.

As he passes his father he can’t help but make one remark. “What father, are you not proud of my combat skills?”

He doesn’t look at Odin when he says it, but he doesn’t miss the muttered reply.

“No Loki. A man without honor is no man at all.”

* * *

  
A singular drop of blood dances down Loki’s pallid face. It clings desperately to his lips before admitting defeat, and falling to the filthy ground below. He pays it no mind. The battle around him is still going strong, and his fellow Asgardians are not faring well.

The beasts that are fighting them are more powerful than they expected, and even Thor is having trouble fending them off. Loki is worn down too. His magic has been drained dry from his many curses and rounds of healing, not to mention the several illusions he has been maintaining for hours on end. It’s utterly exhausting, despite his training.

He sighs and dodges another attack, firing off a blast of magic that sucks the energy from his enemy. He glances quickly around the field, noting how many of his comrades have fallen to the beats. It is sobering. They shall not hold up for much longer.

He feels outmatched in this situation, and it is not something he enjoys. They cannot win this fight as they are. Too many have fallen, and those that remain are injured and tired. What can he do?

Loki turns surveys the field once more, stopping once his eyes catch Thor. Thor, his brother, who is being forced into the dirt by a mass of beasts so vile that they shouldn’t even have the privilege of gazing upon a prince of Asgard. He feels his expression twist into one of complete hatred. They have no right!

His anger begins to roll off him like smoke, filling the air around him. He smiles wickedly and lets it come. Loki pulls up the last drops of energy he has and fills the battlefield with smoke, allowing only his soldiers to see the way out.

The beasts are strong, but they are not clever, not like Loki.

They stumble around foolishly while every single Asgardian escapes with ease. Loki smirks viciously and waits to leave last, casting a spell over the fallen to ensure they are buried properly and taken safely to Valhalla.

When he finally materializes between his comrades, he is so worn that his bones ache. Yet they greet him with cheers and smiles. Men he has barely spoken to come up and shake his hand forcefully, expressing their deep gratitude. It makes an unfamiliar warmth pool in Loki’s chest. He doesn’t quite mind it.

Throughout their journey back, the men treat Loki with newfound respect. Several commend him on his strategic thinking and offer ideas for when they regroup and counter attack. He takes in each idea and builds several decent routes to victory by the time they reach Asgard.

Thor leads the soldiers to the barracks to rest and recover, before wrapping am arm around Loki’s shoulder and pulling him along to give a report to Odin. They traverse the halls together, only separating when they reach the doors to the throne room. Loki straightens himself out, and Thor shakes out his cape. They nod at each other and push the doors open together.

Odin and Mother turn to look at them as they approach, ceasing their conversation. When they are a few steps from the thrones Odin stands and comes forward to pull Thor into a hug. His nods at Loki briefly before sitting back down, gazing at Thor expectantly.

“Go on then, tell me how it went. I would like a detailed recounting and a casualty count. Begin.”

Thor starts talking at once, telling every detail with dramatic flair that even impresses Loki. He tells of the horror of the beasts they faced, the numerous soldiers that fell in battle, and of course, Loki’s grand contribution.

Odin’s face had stayed fairly blank throughout the tale, but when he heard of how they escaped his expression grew heavy with disappointment. He stays silent until Thor finishes, and then dismisses him. “Thank you Son, for your detailed recounting of the events. You have done well, please go clean up and tend to your injuries. Loki, please stay.”

Thor bows and turns to leave, shooting Loki one last smile before he exits.

He sighs as his brother leaves and turns to face Odin with only a little anticipation. Really, only a little. But he knows it is of no use. His Father is still gazing at him with dissatisfaction apparent on his face.

Loki scowls up at him and lifts his arms in a show of confusion. “What now father? What more can you criticize? I trained for battle, I fought bravely among my men, and I saved us from a great loss. Quite honorably I might add, so what more could you possibly want?”

His father doesn’t reply quickly, but first lets out a deep sigh. “Yes, you fought, but Asgardians don’t give in so easily. You should have stood your ground. I am sure you could have come out victorious.” He says.

Loki looks at him with an expression of disbelief painted across his features. “And what of our men? My soldiers? Do you care nothing of them?”

“No Loki, I do care. But to die in battle is not a death to be scoffed at. All those that have perished shall rest in Valhalla tonight.”

Loki doesn’t bother replying again. He just turns and walks out of the room, ignoring how his heavy footfalls mimic the sound of his heart.

* * *

 

Rushing water wails past him, dropping off into a sea of stars. His grip on Thor’s hammer is strong still, but the blood roaring in his ears has Loki in a state of shock. If he were not in such a dire situation, he might find his surroundings tragically beautiful. He listens distantly as pieces of exploding debris create a medley of thundering songs.

He slowly raises his head from its bent position and gazes up into his father’s disappointed face once again. He should be used to it by now, really, but it still tears at him every time. At least now he knows why it’s there.

Loki knows he can’t justify his actions, not to Odin, never to father, but he still has to try. Despite everything he still has hope.

“I could have done it father! I could have done it! For you!” His voice sounds so young when he calls up to Odin. “For all of us…”

“No Loki”

Oh. Of Course.

Loki wipes his face of expression and thinks distantly of his father’s face so long ago, when Thor won his first tournament. He burns the memory of that smile and those shining eyes into his mind one last time. And then, well, he lets himself fall.

He can hear Thor shouting, and feels a pang in his chest, but it doesn’t stay long. It will all be over soon. The darkness is closing in around him quickly, but just before it swallows him completely, Loki reaches up to where his father and brother must be, to be met with a delicate green butterfly on his palm.

He smiles. Then he’s gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think!


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